Bad online dating stories reddit gone ghanaians in london dating sites
There was about a three-second silence before we both just broke down laughing."—Reddit user catatronic"A few years ago I was having sex with my then-girlfriend. I felt like I had won a carnival game."—Reddit user Makapepa76"My girlfriend lives in Brooklyn but was raised in New Jersey. Just about every experiment we've had together has been hilariously awkward."—Reddit user Frozen-scumbag"I lost my virginity to a guy who wasn't circumcised. A couple minutes in, he thrusted a little hard, and it forced his foreskin back, ripping it from the base of the head back. And now, five years later, he's still putting up with my crude and uncouth behaviors."—Reddit user Bubbo"My boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was on top of me. Somehow, the suction between our stomachs created this loud, embarrassing farting sound."We've been together almost three years, so we just had a really good laugh and went back to the sex."—Reddit user beesknees19"I had just had some truly awesome sex with my high school boyfriend (after high school, summer after my freshman year of college) in his basement.
She was being rather noisy, and her roommates were home, so I told her to just bite my hand. I ended up with six stitches."—Reddit user Samanthais"I was having sex with my girlfriend, doggy-style, and pulled out. While having sex, we could hear a few people out on the street talking about their apartments and rent (her room is about half a level above the street, so no one could see in the windows). It started bleeding profusely."He ended up having to go to the hospital and getting five or six stitches in his dick, which resulted in an inch-long scar. ' I squeeze him a bit tighter and rip a giant fart. "Suddenly I'm completely awake and aware of the fact that this guy I've only been dating for a short time but am really falling for is lying next to me in silence because instead of saying something like, 'The thing that makes it better is waking up next to you' I just squeezed him and farted. So mortified."Then I realized that he's silent, but that's because he is laughing so hard. We were naked and panting, literally just finished.
Knowing how candid people tend to get on Reddit, we visited the site to find out what real people cite as their funniest sex stories. From spontaneous bodily sounds to unexpected fluids to a couple of way-too-friendly pets, these stories put our own sexual crack-ups to shame."One time during sex, my S. and I tried to do the 'roll over while still boning' thing to switch positions from girl on top to missionary.
"—Reddit user Infinitely Thirsting"I have the tendency to squeeze my pelvic muscles (really hard) during sex and the guys really [like] that.
I must've squeezed way too hard, because the condom stuck to me as he was thrusting in and out.
After some smooching, feeling up, and whatnot, I went down on her. The next morning, when I was taking a shower, I noticed some white, sticky stuff on my cock. So he leaned in, in the middle of sex, and whispered (likely in a heavy, panting, sex voice), 'Did you know that Tony Danza had a talk show?
'"—Reddit user RMC89"This probably isn't the most embarrassing, but I know I will never forget the time I swallowed and there was so much semen that it came out of my nose. At least he didn't notice."—Reddit user Oh_My_Sagn"Me and my girlfriend were fucking in our apartment's gym showers, and an old lady came into the room.
Guess she had gotten a little jealous that her man liked me more than her and wanted in on the fun.